How To Disciple Someone

Discipleship is an essential part of the Christian life. In my church we say that, if you are a member of the local church, you know enough to be able to disciple someone. Why? Because, if you are a member of our congregation, the church leaders have asked you about the gospel, and you obviously know what it is. (This doesn’t mean that you are an expert in how to share the gospel – but you do understand and believe the basics facts of the gospel). And that, in itself, is sufficient – because there are plenty of people that don’t even know that much.

Remember, discipleship can happen with anyone. Discipleship is not just for Christians. Rather, discipleship is a journey of following Christ away from sin and into spiritual maturity. Every single individual is somewhere along that path (I don’t say they are on that path, only that they are along it or beside it). What I mean is this: there are lots of people who are unsaved, and you can bring them along this journey.

So, how do you do it?

Begin by forging relationships. Start talking with people – about anything! Talk with believers and unbelievers. Have a meal with them, or enjoy a cup of coffee. Hang out with them. In one way or other, begin a friendly relationship with that person.

Then, invite them to join you around spiritual topics. That spiritual topic may be a book of the Bible, or a book about the Bible. It might just be spiritual conversation. Whatever it is, invite them to join you.

If you do invite someone to specifically engage in a Bible study or book study, I recommend that you don’t make it into a big commitment. Rather than saying, “Hey, would you want to join me for a Bible study every week?” Ask them the same question but with a ‘stop date.’ “Do you want to join me for a weekly Bible study through the book of John? It will probably take us about eight weeks.” This doesn’t mean that you can’t continue with them for more than eight weeks. If they enjoy the study, then at the end say, “I wondered if you wanted to keep studying the Bible with me by taking another six weeks to study Ephesians?”

There are plenty of good books to choose from. If you are starting into the Bible, the Gospel of Mark is an excellent first step (it’s all about following Jesus as a disciple!). James is great for talking about day-to-day living as a Christian. Romans will provide spiritual depth to your theology. There are also plenty of non-biblical books that you could consider. Who Is Jesus? by Greg Gilbert provides a good summary of the gospel. Spiritual Depression by Martyn Lloyd-Jones is an invaluable book for every Christian. The Pilgrim’s Progress (John Bunyan) is another book that every Christian will benefit from, while A Vision for Missions (Tom Wells) will challenge believers to have a greater view of God’s work in the world.

When you get together to do your study, the book that you are going through is core – but it isn’t everything. Keep the friendship going too. Talk about things that are significant for them. Keep informed on that person’s life. Share about your life and what you are thinking. Pray together (you can even help unbelievers learn how to pray).

A Few Basic Principles

Keep these principles in mind as you seek to disciple others. They will make you more effective, and save you from a lot of headache.

You can’t help those who don’t want to be helped. Not everyone wants this kind of a relationship. That’s ok. If that person is a believer, this may not be the right time for them to have this kind of discipleship in their life. If that person is an unbeliever, that’s okay too. God is still able to get ahold of them. Rather then be disappointed, be gracious and understanding, and hopefully they will think, ‘Wow, what a kind person that was to offer to read the Bible with me…I’m curious about what that book says!” And maybe that will be the way that God will eventually get ahold of them. At the same time, don’t dismiss an individual because you just ‘assume’ that they aren’t interested. Jesus called a tax collector to follow him.

You aren’t the master (Jesus is). You are only a fellow-disciple. In other words, you aren’t discipling them to be your student. You are just one disciple helping someone else along the path of discipleship. You are simply modeling to them an example of what it means to be a disciple.  Don’t make this more complicated than it is.

Offer to be of help. People appreciate when someone offers them help. So offer the help that you are able. If they are working on a project and you are able to assist, consider doing so. If you have expertise in a subject that they need help in, you might provide that. If your friend has a big decision, offer to talk about it with them. If they have a spiritual question, tell them that you would love to discuss it. Demonstrate openness. This doesn’t mean that you are expected to have all the answers; you are just offering to help your friend think through what it means to be a disciple and to consider situations as a follower of Christ.

Don’t be intimidated by this. Go out and see how you can encourage people to follow Jesus. It’s a valuable use of your time – and you’ll grow a lot along the way.