Guest Post: Good Dead Friends

Note: Enjoy this guest post by Elizabeth Clevenger!

“What shall I say? A holy and good God has covered us with a dark cloud. … But my God lives; and he has my heart. … We are all given to God; and there I am, and love to be.” [1]

With one quote, my commitment to having good dead friends was secured. I had already been enjoying Christian biographies as part of my evening routine. But I was not prepared for the immediate relatability and invigorating spirituality that I was in for as l read.

The above quote from Sarah Edwards was penned to her family upon the passing of her dear husband, the famous Jonathan Edwards, during a routine medical procedure. As soon as I read her letter as quoted above, my “heart was knit together in love” with hers (Col. 2:2). The righteous testimony of a woman, born before my country was born, reached forward into my current year and proved herself a strong and faithful friend.

Discipleship and fellowship do not have an expiration date. Consider Hebrews 13:7: “Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct imitate their faith.” Those qualities transcend time. Yes, discipleship is not less than Christians who are living. But it is also more than that.

Good Dead Friends Commanded

Drawing on believers’ lives from the past is a biblical theme, for instruction, for blessing, and for warning:

Who is wise? Let him give heed to [God’s past patterns regarding his people], and consider the lovingkindnesses of the Lord. Psalm 107:43

“Remember Lot’s wife. Whoever strives to save his life will lose it.” Luke 17:32-33

These things happened… so that we would not crave… as [Israel] craved. 1 Corinthians 10:6

These things happened to [Israel] as an example…. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall. 1 Corinthians 10:11-12

Let us be diligent… so that no one will fall, through following the same example of disobedience. Hebrews 4:11

As an example… of suffering and patience, take the prophets…. James 5:10

In this [gentle and quiet spirit] in former times the holy women… used to adorn themselves…  and you have become [their] children if you do what is right without being frightened…. 1 Peter 3:5

Perks To Having Good Dead Friends

There are distinct advantages to having good dead friends. They are easy to take on a trip – they can fit in a bag with no plane ticket required. They can stay up with you late into the night, and will not fall asleep until you do. Gaining a good dead friend can happen much faster than a living one. Think of shelves of Christians, all just waiting for you to pick up their life and meet them. They are also much more free to share wisdom that you do not want to hear – after all, you can’t kill them for doing so.

Good dead friends can help you take yourself less seriously. Exemplary Christians become much more down-to-earth, for example, when reading about pre-conversion Brother Andrew going brazenly into combat with a bright yellow straw hat [2], or Amy Carmichael, as she describes her disembarkment on a foreign mission field the first time:

The crowd was friendly, it was certainly interested – it was, in fact, transfixed at the sight – but it was helpless. As she told the story later, she said she laughed till she was positively aching at the absurdity of the whole affair. A foreign port. Nobody to meet her. Not a word of any language she could understand. The girl from the Irish village on the North Sea, standing in the pouring rain beside her pile of luggage on the shore of Japan, laughing. [3]

Good dead friends can also help you take God more seriously. While deceased saints are at the mercy of their biographers, a good writer will do the research it takes to present all facets of their subject. The reader can enjoy a panoramic view of the nature of man, the Christian experience, and God’s work in and through it all. A good biographer will in this way put God on display as true and faithful:

In March I was again tempted to doubt the faithfulness of the Lord. Although I was not worried about money, I was not fully resting upon Him so that I could triumph with joy. One hour later the Lord gave me another proof of His faithful love. [4]

Friends from the past can encourage and stimulate current friendships with the living. Some of their friends were also good dead friends, Christians from the past whose presence through literature they cherished. The more Christian biographies I read, the more the pattern emerges. People with deep, strong friendships and godly support systems tend to go the distance, to endure with faithfulness, to avoid any calamitous sin. 

The loving intimacy grounded in Scripture that believers from the past portray is a light and an inspiration. In the fictitious biographical classic, Pilgrim’s Progress, the friendship between Christian and Faithful is described as such: “They went very lovingly on together, and had sweet discourse of all things that had happened to them in their pilgrimage.” [5]

Biographies of people worth knowing will likely have profound truths presented in memorable quotations. These may be penned by the subject, if they write well, or by the biographer in their observations. A couple more favorites (in addition to the introductory quote to this blog):

“‘Satan is so much more in earnest than we are – he buys up the opportunity while we are wondering how much it will cost.’” – Amy Carmichael [6]

“The willingness to sacrifice that springs from a loving heart rather than the desire for spiritual distinction is surely acceptable to God. But, as in the case of Abraham’s offering of his son Isaac, the sacrifice itself is not always finally required. What is required is obedience.” – Elisabeth Elliot [7]

Where To Find Them and Thoughts On Keeping Them

The Christian tradition is rich with godly men and women. I would suggest asking trusted friends or church leaders for biography suggestions, particularly in the categories of missionaries, church history, and hymn writers. There are so many, and new ones are being written or reprinted as well. There are two recently published, excellent biographies that have come out: Susie: The Life and Legacy of Susannah Spurgeon by Ray Rhodes Jr. (2018) and Becoming Elisabeth Elliot by Ellen Vaughn (2020). I am currently reading the 2020 reprinting of Iain H. Murray’s Jonathan Edwards: A New Biography.

Podcasts are another great option. Again, get recommendations from trusted friends or church leaders, or do your own exploring with discernment. Two Christian podcasts that cover one person per episode are Women Worth Knowing with Cheryl Brodersen and Robin Jones Gunn, and Men Who Rocked the World with Steve Lawson. I find these to be a favorite for road trips, especially if I am traveling alone.

I have a Christian biography shelf in my office, set apart from the rest of my books, to which I add carefully every year. They are organized chronologically, starting with Pilgrim’s Progress and ending with Martin and Gracia Burnham’s In the Presence of My Enemies (2003). The shelf is a visual reminder of the strong, faithful content and I tend to keep one of them close at hand to read. Once I finish any new biographies acquired, I return to reviewing ones I have already read. I find it helpful to read biographies of both men and women, just as in real life and church relationships.

As with all relationships, choose your friends wisely and then keep them around. And if none of your friends are dead, you need new friends.

[1] Sereno E. Dwight, “Memoirs of Jonathan Edwards,” in Edwards, Works, 1:clxxviii. This biography of Sarah Edwards was in Faithful Women & Their Extraordinary God by Noel Piper (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2005).

[2] Brother Andrew, God’s Smuggler (Westwood, NJ: Barbour and Co., Inc., 1967), 19.

[3] Elisabeth Elliot, A Chance To Die: The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael (Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, 1987), 68.

[4] George Muller, The Autobiography of George Muller (New Kensington, PA: Whitaker House, 1984), 41.

[5] John Bunyan, The Pilgrim’s Progress: From This World To That Which Is To Come; Delivered Under the Similitude of a Dream (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson, 2004), 57.

[6] From a letter Amy wrote from the mission field to friends back home, as quoted in Elliot, A Chance To Die, 85.

[7] Elliot, A Chance to Die, 175.

Elizabeth Clevenger is a member of Summit Woods Baptist Church in Lee’s Summit, MO. She has a bachelor’s degree in Music Performance and a master’s degree in Biblical Counseling, both from Calvary University. Elizabeth, a certified biblical counselor, enjoys serving her church in the areas of evangelism, music, and counseling, and works on staff at Summit Woods as administrative assistant.

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